


Subspace

by satan_copilots_my_tardis



Series: Aftercare [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: BDSM, Breathplay, Choking, Established Relationship, M/M, Polyamory, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-19 00:02:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15497805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satan_copilots_my_tardis/pseuds/satan_copilots_my_tardis
Summary: Subspace: A euphoric state of mind that a sub experiences while in play. Can be characterized as a loss of coherence, physical and mental high, dizziness, the desire to keep playing past safe limits, intense feelings, and a complete disassociation with the world outside of the Sub and Dom.ORDeceit knows Logan is spreading himself way too thin and does his best to help his partner reach a better state of mind.





	Subspace

**Author's Note:**

> Yup I am back on my bullshit. Obviously some things are pushed for the sake of porn, one big way is how I portray breathplay which can be very dangerous and this is not the safest way to engage in it, so always do your research and discuss kinks and risks with your partner before engaging in them.

Logan may be the busiest side, but Deceit thinks he comes in a close second. Afterall, as much as the others dislike him they’re always more than ready to rely on his powers to put on a brave face. Thomas masking his disappointment and discontent with himself now that he’s faced with the realization that he doesn’t know as much about himself as he first thought. The nagging fear that someday he’ll find out that the manifestations of his personality really are imaginary and he’d lost his mind a long time ago. Deceit lets him tell the others that he’s happy they all came into existence and that he doesn’t care how it happened and only half of that statement is a lie. Then there’s Roman’s near crippling self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. An annoying itch at the back of his mind but the creative facet’s sudden obsession with Virgil is helping to distract him and counter some of those concerns. Deceit whispers to him, unseen, ‘How could Virgil want you the way he so clearly does if you're not worthy of anyone’s time?’, it’s just a suggestion. Roman won’t know it came from him but maybe it’ll be enough to help him work through his issues without Deceit needing to intervene further. 

As for good ol’ Anxiety, well. Despite the way his status as an outsider used to weigh on him Virgil is genuinely doing better. He doesn’t spend nearly as much time lying to himself as the others and even if it gives him less power over the other, Deceit has to admit he’s pleased about that. He has enough problems to deal with. Having at least one of the other facets actually trying to be careful about the lies they tell themselves is a load off his shoulders. 

Especially when the last two facets have been drawing him in so much. Patton, happy pappy Patton. Mr. “ _I’m learning not to do that anymore,_ ” Dad-guy. Deceit’s always had a sweet tooth but at this point the burnt sugar sweetness of the lies Patton surrounds himself with is starting to give him cavities. But Patton is a long term project. He’s been in charge of helping the other deal with his negative emotions since they were first manifested together, the moment young Thomas found out there was a difference between right and wrong and reality and fiction and learned what it meant to the world to insert his own fictions into his life and the lives of others. No, currently the source of his overloaded work schedule comes down to the other glasses wearing facet. 

“You definitely haven’t spread yourself too thin.” Deceit purrs as he materializes in Logan’s room without warning. As soon as he opens his mouth to speak his tongue catches the taste and scent of Logan’s lies. All of them have their own unique flavors and he is intimately familiar with them all. Logan’s is something sharply metallic, like paper clips and tie pins, and the bitter tang of pomegranate. It’s a welcome change from Patton’s lies so he lets himself soak it in. 

Logan jolts upon seeing him. “Deceit.” He doesn’t bother to ask why he’s here. Instead the other just gestures at the chair pushed to the side of his desk. Deceit glances around the room as he makes his way over. Much like the other’s personality the design is all clean lines, refined but with an industrial flare that echoes his pragmaticism. His bed is pushed to the far wall immaculately made and the side walls are lined with bookshelves. And of course his glass desk takes up nearly the entire wall opposite his bed, stacks of organized folders across every surface. His normally perfect posture has been twisted into knots of tension as he leans over his work, one hand buried in his hair and the other holding a pen, the soft click, click, click, of its cap against the desk belaying his exhaustion. 

“You’re so well adjusted.” Deceit lies, settling into the chair close by.

“Did you come only to mock me? Because if you did I would much rather you leave the way you came.” He doesn’t look up from his work. 

People never want to believe that a dishonest individual is just as capable of telling the truth as they are lying. It's much easier to buy into the idea that dishonest people are dishonest because they are bad or lazy or self centered. But Deceit knows a greater truth. Because in his experience, in Thomas’s experiences, dishonest people are dishonest because they are trying to serve their own ends in whatever way they can and with whatever tools they have available to them. Which is why, as much as lying is a fundamental part of who he is, Deceit is equally as good at telling the truth. Because there is no way to be a good liar without telling just enough of the truth to make the others listen to him. And Logan doesn’t have the same hang ups as most people so Deceit reaches for the rubix cube that’s been serving as a candy colored paperweight before he leans back in his seat and switches tactics. “You summoned me.” 

“I didn’t mean to.” No tang of deception in the words. 

“I know, but if you keep doing this to yourself I’m going to have to keep coming around.” 

“And what exactly am I doing that warrants your intervention? Who exactly have I been lying too, locked in my own room working to keep Thomas in one piece?” The retort is sharp and brittle and finally Logan looks up at him. He’s almost got circles under his eyes to contend with Virgil and his mouth is set into an angry twist. 

He could be kind. He could be gentle and not push. He could lie. The rubix cube clicks in his hands as he turns it. He could be kind. Instead his voice shifts, a perfect copy of the other’s, and he exposes the truth. “‘I can do this. I can finish all of this work, Thomas doesn’t need to worry about it. I don’t want to ruin the other’s good time by letting them see how overwhelmed I am. I’m not. I’m in control. I’m fine. I’m not panicking, I’m not thinking about how much I’ll let everyone down if I fail. I don’t need to do breathing exercises to keep from summoning Virgil. I’m in control. I can get this done. I’m fine--’” 

“Stop it.” Logan’s not looking at him again. His breathing is tight and labored, his hands clenched in fists atop his papers. 

“No.” He watches the other squeeze his eyes tight and then a second later drop his pen so he can push his glasses aside and grind the heels of his palms against his eyes. A tremble works through his frame and Deceit almost feels bad. 

“What else am I supposed to do?” His voice comes out thin and wobbly. 

“It’s just a thought, but you could tell them the truth.” 

“I can’t.”

“I’m not stopping you.” He points out. 

“I don’t want them to know.” Logan finally says and Deceit could almost sag in relief at hearing the truth spoken. The pull, a tightness in his gut that forced him to seek the other out, slackens. “What would they think of me, seeing this? These ridiculous feelings getting in the way of my work.” 

There’s a lot to unpack with that statement. But Deceit weighs his options quickly. If he wants Logan in bed sooner rather than later he probably shouldn't engage with the argument that the ‘ridiculous feelings’ are exhaustion and an overwhelming sense that everything falls on the other's shoulders. That this sense of helplessness stems from Logan's pride and inability to just ask for help when he needs it. “When was the last time you spoke to Patton?” He asks. The other facet is better suited to these emotional outbursts and tends to be far better about soothing Logan's temper. Sulfur coats the back of his tongue as Deceit admits to himself that it's beyond his capabilities to avoid making a mess of an emotional discussion.

“About this? I don’t know-- weeks. He has his own things to deal with.” That he does. Deceit will probably need to head over to his room within the next few days as well. Honestly the two of them are wrecks. But first things first.

Well with no help coming from that corner Deceit just sets down the toy and rises from his chair. He knows one surefire way to get Logan to rest. “Come on then.” 

“I can’t I have to finish this.” But Logan lets him take one of his hands. 

“Come on.” He doesn’t have to push farther. Not when he can taste how badly Logan wants this. Logan lets himself be pulled away from his desk and Deceit drags him in close raising one hand to his cheek. He traces the circles under Logan’s eyes gently. He’s going to have to call Patton in later to make sure Logan goes to sleep when he leaves. He’s not sure if it’s how close he already is to the edge or if it’s more about how used to this the other has grown, but just the soft touch is enough for the tension to start draining from his frame and his eyes flutter shut. “That’s it.” Deceit rewards his behavior by leaning in to kiss him.

The taste of Logan’s lies is stronger when he’s actually able to press his tongue to his skin and Deceit could almost choke on the tang of steel and fruit. But it’s a flavor he’s long since grown used to. Logan’s mouth is soft and pliant under his, welcoming and warm as he licks his way inside, a low sound rumbling from his throat. 

“Safeword.” He breathes against the other’s lips. He has a feeling what kind of mood Logan’s in, but he needs to make sure. 

“I don’t want one tonight.” Logan murmurs tucking his body against the other’s. Deceit smooths one hand through the other’s hair. He takes the complete relinquish of control with the same care as he always does. 

“Come on then.”

* * *

 

But Logan doesn’t want to drop all the way for him and Deceit doesn’t know if it’s just his usual stubbornness rearing its ugly head or if he’s still focusing so much on his other work that he can’t let go. It all adds up to his partner not wanting to succumb gently into his subspace. Something so endearingly different from Patton who can drop in seconds with the right touch or command. No, Logan wants to fight and be pushed under and Deceit is more than happy to oblige him. He loves to take him apart by inches. 

He tangles his gloved fingers into the other’s usually immaculately styled locks, yanks his head back roughly so he can claim his mouth. When the other’s teeth dig into his lips he returns the gesture in kind, sharp teeth sending more pain than pleasure through their contact. Deceit pushes Logan back, hears the desk rattle as it hits the wall, hard enough he’s sure there will be a bruise blooming across the small of the other’s back within the hour. Logan’s hands claw at the clasp of his cape, nearly snapping the chain in his haste to throw the offending cloth to the side. His hat follows not long after and Deceit reaches for Logan’s thighs, coaxes his legs to wrap around his hips as he supports his weight. 

The temptation to fuck Logan on his desk is nearly irresistible, but he suspects the other side will be entirely taken out of the mood if he so much as dislodges a single file from the desk. So instead he lifts the other away and steers them towards the bed. Besides he's supposed to be getting the other away from his work, not burying him in it. Logan’s mouth finds his again, breathless and hot. Deceit can feel him dropping already. Good. He sets the other down on the bed and lays himself over the length of the other’s body. Logan’s hands, flitting over his form, make it difficult for Deceit to get at his tie and buttons. So he catches one of his hands in his own and delivers a sharp nip to the pounding pulse in Logan’s wrist. 

He doesn’t need to retrain the other’s hands to keep him from touching. “Hands behind your back, darling.” He hisses softly, watching as Logan’s eyes dilate as he struggles with himself. He wants to listen, he wants to resist, he just--- He wants to let someone else take control for once. Deceit waits for a moment, watches the emotions flicker through the other’s eyes but finally he follows the command. “That’s it.” He makes short work of the other’s tie and shirt, careful not to dislodge his glasses. 

He dips down, peppers kisses along his neck and across his shoulders. His canines, sharp and hollow, marr his lover’s neck, but he’s careful not to bite too hard. Logan’s already giving into his honest desires. No need to poison him with truth venom on top of that. But no need to treat him like glass either. Logan’s breathes escape him intertwined with gasps and moans as Deceit roughly shoves a thigh between his legs. Logan’s head tips back, exposing the long line of his neck as he rocks into the contact and Deceit’s mouth goes dry. 

He runs his gloved fingers down the column of his throat, relishing the way that the other’s adam’s apple bobs as his breath catches, before he settles his palm firmly over the skin. He doesn’t start to squeeze, not yet, but the way Logan’s hips jump off the bed tells him just the anticipation could be enough tonight. The other is already too strung out, running on fumes and exhaustion, for Deceit to drag this out. That’s not what Logan needs tonight. (And he tries to ignore the emotions that tug in his chest at the knowledge that the other trusts him to know what he needs.)

“Deceit!” He cries out, back bowing up off the bed as he sucks a bruise onto the skin of his shoulder. His hand tightens around the other’s throat, just enough for the pressure to be uncomfortable. Deceit ignores his cry, scrapes his teeth along his skin, drags his free hand along the other’s chest and tweaks his nipples. Part of him wants to remove his gloves, wants to really feel Logan’s skin against his fingertips, but Logan likes the gloves. He loves the juxtaposition between being forced to feel what’s happening in the moment and the slight barrier that the leather puts between them. Likes that he can distance himself from the need to lose control and the reality of who he wants to give it to. Deceit tries not to be hurt by the shape of the truth. After all this is about what Logan needs tonight.

Tonight he needs it hard and fast. He needs to be broken apart and just forced to feel for once. And Deceit’s more than happy to fulfill that desire he tightens his hand in increments. Slowly, torturously tightening his grip so that the other’s spine goes taut as his breath is cut off. It’s not the safest way to go about this, but well, they’re not really human and he knows how much the other can take. The last of his air escapes Logan as a keen, hips twitching forwards for friction and he allows it, lets the other grind against his clothed thigh. He counts the seconds carefully before reaching his other hand to Logan’s belt and flicking it open with practiced movements. He watches carefully to make sure his eyes don’t go too glassy or red. Waits until tears just start to prickle at the corners before he starts to slowly let off the pressure. The rumble of Logan’s wheezing breathes against his covered palm have no right to make his cock twitch, but unlike the others he’s honest with himself. He loves having Logan put his life in his hands. Though he’s reluctant to do it Deceit has to release the other’s throat entirely so that he can tug loose Logan’s pants and boxers, teasing the other facet’s cock as he does. 

“Please,” the other whispers. 

“I know you want it.” Deceit murmurs, but he hasn’t dropped all the way yet, not if he’s still managing to speak. “But I want something from you first.” A high noise rattles from the other’s throat. He shifts away from the other, flicks open his button and fly and pulls his aching cock from the confines of his pants. Logan’s pupils blow wide at the sight of him. He shifts, moves up to almost straddle the other’s face. “Open up for me, darling.” The command barely leaves his mouth before Logan’s lips are parting and his tongue is swiping over the head of his cock. Fuck. A moan tears from his throat as Logan leans forward as much as he’s able, wraps his lips around his cock and sucks him into the almost overwhelming heat of his mouth. 

Logan sucks cock like he does everything else, meticulously and with great care for detail, something Deceit is usually more than happy to indulge in. But not tonight. Deceit doesn’t give the other any warning before he starts to thrust shallowly into his mouth. Logan twitches around him, a rumble of a cough muffled and sending vibrations against his skin. He watches the other’s expression closely, sees the exact second when Logan realizes that even in this he has to surrender his control. Good. He thrusts a little more forcefully, enjoys the way the other tries to relax his jaw and let him in deeper. But he can’t help but push. Deceit pushes Logan’s tousled hair from his forehead, lays a gentle touch across his stretched jaw, and then covers the other’s nose with his hand and presses. Logan’s dark eyes go wide, his throat spasming around his cock and his chest rocking as his lungs burn with the need for air. The roar of heat under his skin tests the limits of his control, but Deceit resolves that five more thrusts into the welcoming warmth of Logan’s mouth is enough. Five thrusts before he lets the other breathe again. He focuses on the count, uses it to drag himself away from the edge of the orgasm he can feel trying to creep up on him. 

He releases the other’s nose at the same time as he pulls himself free of his lips and Logan sucks in ragged gasps, coughing and sputtering, eyes wet behind his glasses. Deceit lets him work out how to breathe again as he shifts down the other’s body, reaching for the bedside drawer where he knows they keep a bottle of lube. Logan’s barely recovered when he pops the cap open and the sound causes a full body shudder to run through his frame. Glassy eyes lock on him and Deceit shoots him a reassuring smile. 

“I’m going to take care of you, darling.” Even with bruises blossoming across his neck and his chest still heaving as he tries to catch his breath, he can see the other’s finally dropped. He lets Deceit spread his legs wide, dragging his fingers over his hole. He pushes in, two fingers, watches Logan gasp and writhe with the burn and stretch of skin before he starts rocking back into the touch. Logan still wants it hard and fast but not too fast Deceit reasons. He wants Logan to feel him for days, but he doesn’t want the memory to be a negative one. Deceit hoists one of Logan’s legs over his shoulder, the change in angle just right so he can fuck his fingers into the other and caress his prostate. Fuck. His own cock feels full to bursting just at the sight of the other, so unabashedly enjoying anything that he’s willing to give. He works in a third finger, savors the sight of Logan, face flushed, patches of red and purple across his skin, cock straining against his stomach, flushed and drooling.  
He can see Logan trying to claw his way back to speech, pulling himself out by the nails of his subspace and he can’t have that. Deceit settles his hand against the mark he’s already left on the other’s throat and tightens his grip until whatever words he’d been reaching for cut off into a high whine. Fuck it. Logan wants it hard, that’s what he’ll get.

It’s a matter of breathless seconds for him to slip his fingers free of the other’s pliant body and slick up his own cock. Logan’s moans echo off the ceiling as he presses into that tight heat. Deceit works into him inch by inch a hiss escaping him on a breath as pleasure swells through him. He doesn’t wait for the other to adjust before he’s pulling back and thrusting in again and Logan weakly pushes back into the movement. It’s all the signal he needs. The mattress rocks with the force and fever of their movements, Logan’s cries intermittently choked off as Deceit cuts off his air. He slams their lips together, bites at the other’s mouth, his tongue, swallows the sounds and shallow pants, his own jaw suddenly aching as pressure builds. 

“Fuck.” He can feel his control slipping, the control Logan had so willingly given. Fuck. Time to speed this up. He wraps his free hand around the other’s flushed cock, strokes him brutally and watches the other writhe. He licks over the other’s cheek, tastes the heat in his veins, and the sharp clean flavor of his pleasure. No more metal, no more pomegranate. Just Logan. Honest and in the moment. His jaw throbs almost as sharply as his cock.“Fuck, Logan, darling, I want--”

The other doesn’t even hesitate just nods breathlessly as his back bows under the pleasure. Deceit groans and tightens his grip around his throat, cuts off his air one last time before he dips his head down and sinks his teeth into the flesh of his chest. His fangs pierce the other’s skin easily and his jaw throbs as he pushes his venom through the other facet’s veins. Logan’s entire body jerks hard, muscles tightening around Deceit’s cock as his orgasm crashes over him. It’s enough to send him over the edge a few thrusts later, hand loosening around the other’s throat and pulling his teeth from his skin so he can groan his own pleasure. 

Logan’s chest expands and contracts erratically, shudders wracking his entire frame as he comes down, venom surging under his skin. He tries to rein himself back in, lowers the other’s leg from his shoulder, ineffectively swipes away some of the blood leaking from the bite mark. He’s barely caught his own breath before he’s asking, 

“What do you want me to do, Logan?” He knows it’ll be hard for the other to speak so soon, but he needs to drag him back into the real world. 

It takes a moment but finally he manages, “Take care of me.” The words come out a hoarse whisper and Deceit can feel him start to tremble. Not a hint of a lie. There can’t be now. “Please, I don’t want to think, I--”

“Shh, it’s okay, darling. Just close your eyes and relax. I’ve got you.” He eases out of the other’s body, watches him twitch and shudder at the loss, before he moves back enough to reach for the tissue box on the nightstand. Deceit focuses first on staunching the bleeding bite, pressing hard enough to have Logan whimpering. “I know, it’ll stop hurting soon.” He lies. Logan’s going to be feeling the mark for no less than a week, though the venom is likely to be burned from his system by tomorrow morning. He catches movement in the corner of his eye and he immediately feels protectiveness swell through him, a hiss building in the back of his throat. Logan’s fragile right now, vulnerable, a state he trusted Deceit to put him in and keep him safe through. He’ll maim anyone who--  
Patton smiles at him from the doorway, easing it shut behind himself quietly. It takes him a second but Deceit manages to shake the wave of fury that threatened to overtake him. The other facet doesn’t immediately approach the bed, instead ducking into the bathroom. He can hear the tap running and turns his attention back to Logan, lifting the bloody tissues slightly. The mark is angry and red, puffy around the injection sights. But no fresh blood leaks from the wound when he lets off. The bed dips as Patton joins them. Logan’s eyes flutter open and he flushes. 

“Patton.”

“Hey Logan, drink this for us, please?” Deceit helps Logan sit up enough to take the glass of water he’s offered. Patton’s arrival lets him move away enough to get the first aid kit in the bottom of the nightstand without leaving Logan abandoned and he can’t help but notice how easy it feels to share the responsibilities of aftercare with Patton. Logan sips at the glass, but he still seems a little distant, even as Deceit disinfects the bite mark and dresses it. When he’s done with the water Patton takes the glass drops an easy kiss to Logan’s cheek before he starts to run a damp washcloth over the other’s cum spattered skin. “Do you want to talk?”

“He can’t lie.” Deceit warns, moving away slightly. Patton is better at this. All he can do is distract Logan, let him hide things and push him into exposing them, but he’s too abrasive for the emotional parts. Whatever balance he’d managed to strike with Patton and his aftercare is something he knows he lacks with Logan. And if they’re already sharing the responsibility of putting Logan back together then Patton’s the one who’s less likely to make a mess of things now.

“Stay.” Logan whispers, hand reaching out to catch his. He hesitates, but one look at the other, exhausted circles under his eyes and bruised lips, is enough to make him ease back down onto the bed and lay beside the spent facet. 

“Do you want to talk?” Deceit echoes Patton’s question. He might not be the best at this part but he has to make an effort. He wouldn’t be able to think about coming near either of them again if he can’t make an honest attempt to give them what they need after putting so much trust in him. 

“I don’t know.” Logan pauses and the relaxed lines of his face flicker into something worried and unhappy. “I still have work to do.”

“You’re not going anywhere, mister.” Patton scolds him gently, finishing with the cloth and vanishing it with a wave. “You’re going to stay right here with us and I’m going to tell you that it’s okay to ask for help or tell the rest of us that we’re putting too much on you until you believe it.” 

“I can’t,” Logan whispers. Patton shoots him a look and together they gather Logan in their arms between them, Patton nuzzling against his neck and Deceit tucking Logan’s head under his chin. “I have to finish this.”

“You can’t keep burning yourself out like this, Logan.” Patton murmurs. “It’s not healthy, you know that.”

“I do, but--”

“Doesn’t it make more sense to stay here, with us, tonight and then look at your work with fresh eyes tomorrow?” 

“Yes, I want to but--”

“Nothing.” Deceit commands, tone cool. He feels Logan shudder against him, just the slight shift enough to send him dipping into the submission he’s barely pulled himself out of. “No more arguing. Just close your eyes.” It’s late, it was already late when Deceit was first summoned. It’s long past time they should all be asleep. And even though Logan wants to get up, caught between the warmth of their bodies, and the aftershocks of his pleasure weighing down his bones, after a few minutes his breath evens out. He drops a final kiss to the exhausted facet’s head before he eases out of the bed. Patton doesn’t protest as he goes, just gathers Logan more tightly to his chest and watches him move. He hesitates a second before he leans down again. The other’s eyes shine brightly as he leans up to accept the kiss. It’s an unusually romantic gesture for the pair of them. Deceit’s role in this tangled relationship is to help Patton and Logan manage their lies and truths, the fact that all had taken on a sexual tone had been unexpected but a bonus. He leaves them to take care of each others romantic needs. But that’s a thought to entertain at a later time. 

Right now Patton is smiling at him, soft and genuine before he whispers, “Thank you for taking care of him.” 

Deceit feels a twinge behind his ribs. “It’s my job.” The lie sours his mouth with the taste of sulfur. He wonders if his lies tasting so horrible is supposed to be some kind of deterrent to stop him falling into the trap of lying to himself like all the others. 

“Not like this.” 

No it’s not. His job is self-preservation. His job is knowing the truth and the lies they tell themselves. His job is to recognize when a lie has become detrimental. It’s not his job to solve the problem, only to point it out. But with these two, “I’m going to see what I can finish for him.”

Patton beams at him. “You’re an amazing boyfriend.” 

He can’t taste the sugar sweetness of Patton’s usual lies, but Deceit doesn’t think it’s quite the truth either. He’s not dating them. He’s just… what they need right now. He moves over to Logan’s desk and starts to page through the piles of ideas and plans that the other facet had been put in charge of organizing. For right now he can take some of the load off of Logan. He’s already busy anyway. What’s it matter if he puts a little more time into his two pet projects?

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this story and want to support me consider leaving a review.


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